Scaredy Cat Goes to Union MO

From Janie:

 

Today, the route went from Jefferson City to Union MO.  Wednesday, October 10, 2012.  About 80 miles on US Highway 50.  Great day for Jody.  Really rough day for me.

 

In the car at the beginning of the day.  Taking photos.  Not taking note of the fact that my lizard brain was sitting up in the back of my skull screaming:  "We're gonna die!  We're gonna die!"  And that was before I even got out of the car.

 

Got out at about 11 or 12 miles into the route.  Narrow shoulders.  Lots of traffic.  Very tough hill less than a mile after I started.  Lizard brain won.  I bailed on the hill.  Just couldn't keep riding between the traffic, white line and rumble strip on one side, and the guard rail on the other side.  Lizard Brain had me convinced:  "We're gonna die!"  Sounds almost funny now, but believe me, on the road earlier today . . . not so much.  I called Rod.  He picked me up.  We rounded up, and called it a mile.

 

Narrow to no shoulder.

Two lanes of traffic, including trucks.

Missouri flat - a/k/a hills.

 

I spent the rest of the morning in The Little Darkness.  I love my car, but really.  Not enough to want to sit in her for hours at a time.

 

We stopped for lunch in Rosebud MO, at Clancy's Irish Pub, at about 60 miles into the route.  The first restaurant where Rod and I stopped to search the menu for vegetarian options said they had three:  salad, potato soup with just a little bacon (seriously!!!???), and linguini.  Except they were out of linguini.  (Really, how can you be completely out of linguini?  Not a noodle left in the house?)  The second restaurant didn't have anything, but they sent us to Clancy's, where Jody and I both had the Chipotle Veggie Burger Wrap.  They wraps were fabulous - some of the best food we've had on the trip.

 

Clancy's Irish pub, Rosebud MO.

 

Rod and I had talked in the car about him running me all the way to Union, to the hotel.  Yes, I'd napped in the car.  Again.  And yes, a bed for another nap sounded better than the front seat of The Little Darkness.  The hills were alive, and they were totally fucking with my head.  And Lizard Brain had completely bought in.  However, the last 2-3 miles before we stopped in Rosebud, the shoulders were a little wider.  So . . . I decided that I really needed to get back on the bike.  Had to be tougher than Lizard Brain, at least for a little while.  So there I was, putting on my new cycling shoes, getting ready to get on back the bike, thinking that I should be able to get it together to ride the thirty miles left in the route.

 

And there was Rod, taking my bike down off the car.  Taking photos of the moss that wasn't going to grow under the wheels of my bike.  He didn't tell me that until dinner.  It's funny now.  It wouldn't have been funny then!





 

Moss, under the Flying Fish.

 

Moss, ready for its close up.

Jody and Janie, riding down US Highway 50, out of Rosebud MO.

Jody and Janie, riding the hills east of Rosebud MO.

Jody and Janie, reaching the crest of yet another hill.

 

I rode for a little over an hour, about 12 miles.  Lots of hills.  Lots of traffic.  The shoulder was ok, then not so ok.  And yes, I was terrified the whole way.  I bounced my water bottle out of the cage, twice, going over the rumble strip to go around maintenance or mowing vehicles blocking the shoulder.  Once, I actually got off the bike and walked around a maintenance vehicle.  I just couldn't bring myself to ride to the left of the white stripe, even though I could see there wasn't any traffic behind us at the time.

 

Jody rode with me, which helped some.  He went back for my water bottle the second time it jumped out of the cage (after its second escape, it rode in my Topeak bag, on the back of the bike).  He rode in front.  He rode behind.  He was happy, happy to be with me.  Beautiful weather.  Beautiful scenery.  It didn't help.  I was still terrified.  Irrationally so.  (Or maybe not so irrationally, but it sure felt crazy at the time.)  I rode up one hill after another, thinking 'One more hill, and then I'll be ok.  One more hill, and then I'll be ok.'  But I wasn't ok.  Finally, I stopped at the top of a hill.  Enough.  I had just plain had enough.  I didn't cry (really, Peter, I didn't), but I sure did want to.

 

Rod came back and picked me up.  Again.  Put the Flying Fish back on the roof of The Little Darkness.  Jody rode on, picking up his pace since he wasn't waiting for me.  I got in the car.  And was scared of the traffic in the car, too.  That, too, made me want to cry.  Yeah.  A really rough day.

 

I'm trying now not to make too big a deal about tomorrow's route.  It's 46 miles, so it should be within my range to ride the whole route.  Except that I'm worried about the traffic.  And about a couple of the hills.  And the shoulders.  Or the lack of shoulders.  And the traffic.  Ugh, ugh, ugh.  Did I mention the traffic?

 

But on a lighter note, Lizard Brain may have been right.  When we went to dinner tonight, Jody and Rod got in the car first.  (No, I won't tell you who was driving.)  I was moving stuff over from the back seat so I could get in.  The driver started backing up, before I was in the car.  'Wait!  Wait!  Wait!  I'm not in yet!'  See . . . Lizard Brain was right.  There was a car 'incident' in my day.  Just not on the highway, and not a stranger! 

 

And then, as we were walking out of the restaurant (good Italian tonight!) after dinner, Jody and Rod agreed that today had been a bad traffic day.  Worst ride for traffic yet of the time we'd been together.  Worst ride for traffic yet of the whole trip, Jody thought.  Fine.  Now they tell me maybe I'm not being entirely irrational!  Fine.  Just fine.  Thanks a lot, guys.  Just when I was thinking it was all (instead of just mostly) in my head.

 

So, thank you, Lizard Brain, for all the warnings, but I think I've got it from here.  Car incident came and went.  Nobody got hurt.  Tomorrow, we're going for a bike ride.  Just a little bike ride.

 

But today?  Today was a rough enough day that it deserves two quotes.

 

You gain strength, courage and confidence by every experience in which you really stop to look fear in the face. You are able to say to yourself, 'I have lived through this horror. I can take the next thing that comes along.' 

You must do the thing you think you cannot do. 

     ~ Eleanor Roosevelt

 

Decide that you want it more than you are afraid of it.

     ~ Bill Cosby